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Don’t know why I drank it. I dragged myself to his bathroom, gazed into the mirror, and surprised myself by how pale I was. I looked ill. It made my freckles stand out more than normal. Did it make me look cute? Was that a good thing? I showered fast, changed into fresh clothes from my backpack. Harold knocked while I was brushing my hair. ‘Yeah,’ I said. He came in, grabbed my chin, turned my head. ‘No makeup. The younger you look, the better.’ ‘Yeah?’ I didn’t like him touching me. ‘Yeah.’ ‘Who am I meeting?’ ‘They’re being vague, you understand? Got location and details. You better handle this, flower.’ ‘I will.’ He handed me a flip knife. ‘Just in case, yeah?’ I slipped it into my pocket and didn’t reply. There was barely time for me eat, but I couldn’t stomach it anyways. I managed two mouthfuls of toast before that same driver from the previous day turned up to take me somewhere. He had such a bored face, and looked at his phone too much. Harold gave him strict directions and. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or.
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